Meritemuchs retarded journey aka stupid fic 2
by Me-rite-much
Summary: Just when you thought i escaped from the digiworld in my first humor fic, i ended up back in! *shakes head* my god what am i doing? *smiles* please r&r :)
1. Default Chapter

Me-Rite-Much's ReTaRdEd Journey  
  
By: Me-Rite-Much  
  
A/n: Wow, what kind of stupid moron writes a pathetic attempt at a humor fic then comes back for more? *looks around*, hmmm, just me I guess. Oh well :)  
  
WARNING: THIS FIC IS PURE STUPIDITY!!! THIS IS LIKE JAY AND SILENT BOB MEETS TELETUBBIES MEETS DIGIMON MEETS HALF-BAKED. THIS IS GARBAGE!!!! IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY CLUBBING SEALS THEN I DON'T CARE BECAUSE THIS FIC HAS NONE OF THAT!!!!!!! SO PLEASE REVIEW!!!  
  
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"Ah, thank god, it feels so great to be out of that stooped digiworld and back in the regular world, nice and safe in this land full of disease, suffering, hate and war. Yep, life is great!" Me-Rite-Much sighed in relief as he sat back in his comfy chair.  
  
Things had been going great since he escaped from the digital world fifteen minutes earlier. One of those things was that he found a penny on the floor. "Yep, that was a great adventure though. . ." Me-Rite-Much said to himself. "Yep, I met a bunch of people, saw some turnip things, and I killed a dude and got away with it!" he happily said.  
  
"You aren't getting away from anything. . ." Me-Rite-Much heard from the computer screen.  
  
"What the hell? Aw crap, stupid poltergeist infested gateway computers. Dude, I shoulda gotten a dell." Me-Rite-Much spoke in frustration. Just as he was about to package the computer in the box to return it, a blue flash covered the room and half-blinded me-rite-much. After about two seconds, the light disappeared, and a figure started to form in the middle of the room. "Shoot, I would call ghostbusters, but now I remember that they are still trying to bust the ghost of their dead acting careers, ahahahahaah." Me-rite-much joked to himself and laughed.  
  
The figure in the room finally started to take shape. First all that was visible was a green shirt, then some pants, then a head, then the arms. "Oh crap! It's that girl I killed!" Me-Rite-Much panicked as tried to get out the room, but the door was locked.  
  
"Girl!?!? What the hell!? I'm not no girl you fool!" Matt yelled in anger.  
  
"Really? Oh shoot dude, with your skinny girly arms, and the sissy angst you pull off, hahah, I thought u were some flat-chested dyke(Dyke adj.: Man-hating lesbian. Sentence: Hey Tom, that dyke at the bar whooped my ass bad.). Sorry, my bad." Me-Rite-Much laughed in relief. "Seriously though dude, you really need to eat more, actually, a WHOLE lot more. I bet you can break your arms trying to pick up a remote, AHAHAHAHA" Me-Rite-Much rolled on the floor laughing.  
  
"That's it!!!" Matt fumed in anger. His arm extended and reached over to strangle Me-Rite-Much. "All I need in order to come back to life and be with Tai, is to send you back to the digital world, and now you will pay!!" Matt tossed Me-Rite-Much to the wall on the other side, then Matt pulled out a small wallet sized picture. "Don't worry Tai-tai, I'll be with you sooooooooooon!"  
  
"What the hell dude?" Mr-rite-much remarked. "Dude, your fawning over some guy just like little dateless wonder girls fawn over nsync and blonde Japanese kids that play harmonicas when they are little, and then guitars when they get older. I suggest you get a life." Me-rite-Much looked from this fanfic page, to the reader of this fic.  
  
"What are you looking at?" Matt asked. Me-rite-much pointed to the other side of the computer screen where the reader of this fanfic is sitting in their chair. "Oh, ok then, well anyway, I have to send you back to the digiworld so that way I can come back to life and cuddle with tai- tai." Matt smiled and hugged the wallet-sized picture of tai.  
  
"Oh crap, dude, you know what, I think next time I write a fic that has you in it, I think im gonna give you a girlfriend instead of tai, because your turning fruity, FAST." Me-rite-much noticed with fear.  
  
"Never! IF I can't be with tai, then u will DIE!!" And with that, Matt picked up me-rite-much by the shirt collar, and tossed the noble fanfic author into the computer screen.  
  
"Not agaaaaaaaiiiinnnnn!" Me-rite-much yelled as he was sucked back into the digital world. Me-rite-Much fell with a strong thud on the floor. "Aw crap, now I know how people who get sucked into vortexes then fall with thuds feel like.  
  
"Yay! You're back!" the turnip-like digimon jumped around me-rite- much.  
  
"Damnit! Not you again!" Me-rite-much got up and dusted himself off. "Oh well, that dude who put me back in this world is gonna pay ten-fold!" the fanfic author promised himself. "Now all I gotta do is find that dude, kill him, eat his corpse so he won't be able to resurrect of course." Me- rite-much's digimon couldn't help but feel sick when it heard the last part that me-rite-much said. "And I know that im gonna have to make a death mask from his face, I will also have to make a small table out of his organs. . ."  
  
"Um, ok, can you please stop talking like that now?" The turnip- digimon spoke up.  
  
"Huh, oh sure, no problem." Me-rite-much started to formulate his plans. He laughed insanely for a few seconds until he was overcome with a coughing fit and had to drink some water.  
  
"It's so great that you're back." Tai said as he sat, his head leaning on Matt's shoulders. They were both in a small part of the forest the group was in, and they had both walked out for a few seconds pretending that they were gonna get berries for the rest of the group.  
  
"wow, this place is so beautiful, almost as much as you. . ." Matt told Tai. "All I had to do was bring that rite-moron back to this world, hes an idiot anyway, what can he do?" Matt laughed, then kissed Tai.  
  
A few leaves fell from the tree above Tai and Matt, then some clicking sounds were heard. "What the?" Matt asked as he looked up. "Who the heck is up there?" Matt got up and kicked the tree hard. A person fell from the tree and into some bushes. "Ok, ok, it's me!" Kawaiiangel, said as she got up and brushed off some leaves.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here? You aren't even co-writing this fic!" Tai asked while getting up.  
  
"You know what. . ." Kawaiiangel said as she reloaded some more film into her camera. "I have no idea either, say cheese!" She quickly snapped some pictures and disappeared into the nothingness from where she came.  
  
"Wow, what a pathetic attempt at filling in more space to make the fanfic a bit bigger." Matt remarked.  
  
An arrow flew by his head and struck the tree where he had just kicked. "What the heck. . ." Matt and Tai both turn to see who had shot the arrow.  
  
"It is meeeeeee-rite-much, hehe, get it?" me-rite-much said as he climbed out from the bushes. "Now you will die!" me-rite-much yells as he readied another arrow and fired. . .  
  
To be continued, mauahahahahhahaah*cough*muahahahahhahahahhahahahha  
  
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Wow, at least it was better than the first humor I did. Questions, comments, fan mail that directs worship to me can all be sent to quake3rox@aol.com Also, PLEASE REVIEW, it's really encouraging, plus, it lets me know that people are actually reading my stuff. 


	2. the madness continues

Stupid fic 2: chapter 2  
  
By: Me-rite-Much  
  
A/n: Hey everyone, guess who's back after a long time of doing lots of other stuff! That's right, Monica lawenski is back on tv! And hosting that stupid fox reality tv show! But enough about that whore, I am also back, finally writing more fics after a while of resting/drawing/learning some Japanese/etc. Well anyway, not much talking from me as usual, im just gonna cut the crap (not literally, u sickos) and get to writing :)  
  
MORE A/N: One more thing too, I really recommend that you have at least seen the matrix movies before reading because some of the jokes are kinda paralleled to some scenes. I had a friend read it a while ago who didn't see the movie but still liked the jokes, although I recommend you see the matrix in order to actually 'get' the jokes.  
  
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The arrows raced through the air, too fast for Matt to even dodge, and with one swift movement, the arrows struck their target. "AAAAHHHH!!! NOOOO!!!" Matt screamed as he fell to the floor.  
  
"ahahahahahaha, dude, ur getting a dell." Me-rite-much quoted as he saw the results of his work.  
  
"You bastard!! How could you!!" Tai yelled in anger as he knelt to help Matt.  
  
"I think I won't last much longer. . ." Matt said in a sort of empty voice.  
  
Tai quickly tried to see the damage done, and a look of annoyance appeared on his face. "Get up you baka, I think you still have plenty of time left."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Matt asked, then he saw it.  
  
The arrows were suction cups glued to sticks. . .  
  
"Muahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahah*cough*jejejrjrjejejejejeejjej, wait, wtf?" me-rite-much said as he recalled what was the noise he made during the second part of the laugh. "Oh well, doesn't matter, I will be back!!" And upon saying those words, me-rite-much tossed a smoke grenade, and when the smoke cleared, he was still there. . .  
  
"Hehhehehe" He said with a sweatdrop, "It worked in the cartoons. . ." And with his head lowered, Me-rite-much slowly walked away.  
  
"Hmm, there has to be a way to get back that's much easier than the stuff I've been trying to do. . ." Me-rite-much said while pacing around in a small field.  
  
"If you want, I can show you a way, me-rite-much. . ." a figure said from a small orchard of trees nearby. "I can help you; the answer is in my hand. . ." Me-rite-much looked as hard as he could into the orchard to try and make out what the figure was, but then it stepped into the light.  
  
When the figure stepped into the light, me-rite-much could see that it was some kind of strange man, he wore a suit and tie, both black, with sunglasses, and some kind of ear device on his left ear. "What the hell. . . What are you, some kind of agent?" Me-rite-much asked when he saw the person.  
  
"Agent Smith to be more precise." Agent Smith said as he approached. "Now, I can help you, all the answers to your questions lie in these two pills. . ." And he raised on of his fists, and opened it to show a blue and red pill. "Take the red pill, and you will gain abilities and learn truths way beyond normal human comprehension which will help you achieve your goals. Take the blue pill, and you will have reduced heartburn for up to six hours."  
  
Me-rite-much took a few seconds to think about it. "Hmm, the heartburn does sound tempting and relieving in order for me to continue that work day without the pain of. . . . wait a second, I don't got a job yet. . . I guess I'll take the red pill then." Me-rite-much said as he tried to snatch it from Agent Smiths hands.  
  
"Not so fast human," Agent Smith said, quickly pulling his hand away. "First, you must give me the Xion access codes."  
  
"Xion access codes? Dude, you are talking about the Matrix, you're in the wrong universe moron." Me-rite-much said with a tone of vexation.  
  
"Oh," Agent Smith said as he realized what was going on. "Then do you know where the nearest phone is?"  
  
After a few minutes of negotiating, me-rite-much was able to get the red pill from Agent Smith. "Hmm, so, this pill will give me incredible abilities far beyond human comprehension eh? Well, here goes nothing. . ." And Me-rite-much took the red pill, and swallowed it quickly, and as soon as he was finished with it, a sort of dark aura formed around him, and he was now in a black trench coat, and he had those kool glasses that Keanu reeves was wearing in the Matrix. "Hehehehehehehehehe, all your base are belong to me. . . ." Me-rite-much grinned.  
  
"Do you think that's the last we are gonna see of that weirdo?" Sora asked Tai and Matt while all the digidestined were sitting around at the camp they set. "Probably, and who knows what's in store next time around, that's why we have to get the hell away from here as soon as possible." Everyone agreed with Matt, and they quickly got thinking on a way to get as far away as possible. "Listen, I'm gonna hoard some food for us so we can away without stopping much, and the rest of you just get everything ready.  
  
Everyone agreed with the plan, and Matt quickly went off to find some food that would last everyone at least a few days. Everything was pretty uneventful for about an hour, until a few leaves rustled a couple of feet away from Matt. "Everything ok?" Mimi asked as she appeared from the bushes.  
  
"Yeah I guess. . ." Matt mumbled as he looked back on the ground where he was picking weird-looking purple apples. Mimi showed a small look of concern and knelt down beside Matt. "Don't worry, all of this mess will be over soon." She said while patting Matt's back. Matt, who still wasn't facing Mimi, was suddenly knocked forward.  
  
"What the hell was that, Mimi!" Matt exclaimed in pain. Mimi stood up and grinned evilly, suddenly, her form started rippling, and then in her place stood me-rite-much.  
  
"Hehehehe, that Agent Smith dude was right; this crap really IS beyond normal human comprehension." Me-rite-much smiled.  
  
"What did you do to Mimi you demon?!" Matt exclaimed angrily.  
  
"You know what, I don't have the slightest freakin idea, but oh well." And Me-rite-much proceeded to run to Matt, and with a swift movement, punched the tree just a few inches above Matt's head. Matt's eyes widened to almost twice their normal size when he saw the large hole Me- rite-much had left in the tree.  
  
"Now, JOO WILL DIEEE!!" And Me-rite-much rose to the air, both his legs up, his arms outstretched to their respective sides. "hehehe, I learned this trick from the movie." And me-rite-much quickly jumped, hovered for a second or two, kicked one leg up, set the leg back and landed back on the ground.  
  
"See what happens when you mess with the best?" Me-rite-much asked with a grin. It quickly disappeared when he realized Matt was already gone. "DAMNIT!!!" Me-rite-much stomped the ground in anger.  
  
"That thing is back somehow, but how could he catch up with us so fast? And what did he do to mimi?"  
  
"Damn, since that little twig armed kid ran away, I guess I gotta go there too." Me-rite-much grabbed his left arm, and pulled as hard as he could, until it sort of oozed out. Soon the arm was being followed by more of the strange substance, until a whole other person was there. Mimi slowly appeared from the mess, she coughed a bit and fainted before she could even think about what was happening.  
  
"Now, ONWARD!!!!" and me-rite-much dashed in the direction he saw Matt flee in.  
  
"Everyone, hurry up, that guy is back, and he's taken over mimi somehow!" Matt rushed over to the group in a frenzy. "What? What are you talking about?" Joe asked worriedly, "How could he. . . what. . . are you ok? How did he take over mimi? What, you mean he actually absorbed. . ."  
  
Matt nodded frantically, and quickly rushed T.K. to get his things. "We don't have much time before he catches up with us, hurry up, get everything, we gotta go!"  
  
"But what about Mimi? We can't just leave her. . ."  
  
"We have no time for her! Besides, she talked too much anyway. . ." Matt interrupted.  
  
Everyone seemed to quietly agree and began walking at a fast pace down the road. They didn't get far before me-rite-much dashed out from the trees and fell face first trying to decapitate Sora In a stealth assault. "ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. . ." Me-rite-much just stayed on the ground, his face in agony from the slam to the floor.  
  
The digidestined quickly ran away, and after dashing for a few seconds, they decided it was safe and they slowed their pace to a normal walk. "Hey, has anyone noticed that our digimon aren't even here?" Izzy spoke up. Suddenly, the digimon partners of the kids appeared out of thin air and fell with a large thud.  
  
"Well, there goes our vacation. . ." an annoyed garurumon piped up.  
  
The digimon disappeared again, and the clouds above the kids began to form the words, 'there, you happy now?'  
  
"For some strange reason, I am. . ." Joe replied when he looked up.  
  
As the group kept walking along, silent echoes of revenge could be heard in the sky, 'Home Alone 2 sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked'  
  
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Well, that's about it for right now, sry that I haven't written anything for quite a few months, I've just been busy with other things and I kinda lost some interest until now. I might not write anything else until school is finally out for summer vacation ,which should be within the next two weeks, so don't worry, I will eventually write those other 17 fics I have been thinking of, along with the (hopefully) final chapter of this fic. Questions, comments, etc can be sent to quake3rox@aol.com 


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